“He didn’t want me, but…”
“My business isn’t making as much money as I need, but…”
“I’m going to have to cancel my live event, but…”
“I lost my job, but…”
“I didn’t get the promotion I worked so hard for, but…”
“I thought I would have started my business by now, but…”
If we’re honest, many of us have said some version of these words.
We all have moments when life doesn’t go the way we hoped. Doors close. Plans shift. People disappoint us. Timelines change. Dreams feel delayed. And somewhere in the middle of the disappointment, one little word shows up: But.
Now, usually, what comes after the but determines the direction of our thinking.
For many women, the sentence after the but becomes a place of defeat, discouragement, and limitation.
But what if that same word could become a bridge to hope? What if but didn’t have to signal the end of the story? What if it became the turning point?
Today, I want to teach you something simple but powerful: what you place after the “but” matters more than you realize.
The Power of What Follows the But
Words matter. Thoughts matter. Mindset matters. Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
The direction of your life is often shaped by the direction of your thoughts.
Many women are not stuck because they lack talent, intelligence, education, or opportunity. They are stuck because the story they keep repeating after the but keeps them there.
Listen carefully: your circumstances may be real, but they do not have to become final.
There is a difference between acknowledging reality and surrendering to it.
You may have experienced pain. You may have faced disappointment. You may be dealing with real challenges right now. But you still get to choose the meaning you assign to this season.
That is where your power lives.
Small Buts Keep You Small
Let me explain.
A small but sounds like this:
- I’m too old, but maybe it’s too late now.
- I tried before, but it didn’t work.
- I want more, but I don’t know how.
- God gave me a dream, but I’m scared.
- I could start, but what will people think?
Do you hear it?
The sentence starts with possibility, but ends with limitation.
Many women talk themselves out of the very life they desire because they keep attaching fear to the end of the sentence. That kind of thinking can quietly become a prison.
Romans 12:2 tells us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Transformation doesn’t begin when everything around you changes. It begins when your mind changes.
If your thinking stays trapped, your life often will too.
Bigger Buts Create New Possibilities
Now let’s rewrite those same statements.
He didn’t want me, but there is someone who will not only want me but will also cherish me.
My business isn’t making as much money as I need, but I can become more creative, more strategic, and more consistent.
I’m going to have to cancel my live event, but I can offer it virtually and reach people I may never have reached otherwise.
I lost my job, but maybe this is the season I learn to build something of my own.
I didn’t get the promotion, but maybe God is redirecting me to something better aligned with my gifts.
I thought I would have started by now, but it’s not too late. I can begin today.
Can you feel the shift?
The circumstances may not have changed yet, but your posture has. And posture matters.
Faith does not deny reality. Faith chooses to believe reality is not the only voice speaking.
God Often Works Through the But
The Bible is full of women and men whose lives could have ended in disappointment, but God intervened.
Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, but God used the pit, the prison, and the process to position him for leadership (Genesis 50:20).
Esther was an orphan in exile, but God placed her in the palace for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).
Moses felt inadequate and unqualified, but God still used him to lead a nation (Exodus 4:10-12).
The disciples faced a storm, but Jesus spoke peace to the wind and waves (Mark 4:39).
Jesus died on the cross, but on the third day He rose again in victory.
Do you see the pattern?
What looked like an ending became the setup for a greater story.
Your life is no different.
The setback may be real. The delay may be frustrating. The heartbreak may hurt deeply.
But God is still able.
Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…”
That means what you see right now is not the limit of what God can do.
How to Build a Bigger But
So how do you shift from negative thinking to faith-filled thinking?
Here are three ways to start.
1. Catch the Sentence
Pay attention to what you keep saying. What comes after your but?
Is it fear? Defeat? Shame? Delay?
You cannot change what you refuse to notice. Start listening to your own language this week.
2. Replace the Lie With Truth
When you hear a limiting thought, answer it with truth.
- I’m behind, but God’s timing is still good.
- I’m tired, but strength can be renewed.
- I feel unqualified, but God equips those He calls.
- I’ve failed before, but failure is not my identity.
Truth has the power to steady you.
3. Take One Faith Step
A bigger but is not just positive thinking. It should lead to action.
If you believe there is still hope, take one step.
Send the email. Start the outline. Apply for the position. Open the business account. Sign up for the class. Make the phone call.
Faith without works is dead (James 2:17).
You do not need to see the whole staircase. Just take the next step.
You Are Still a Masterpiece
Let me remind you of something I believe with all my heart: You are not an accident. You are not too late. You are not forgotten.
You are God’s workmanship.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works…”
Another translation says you are His masterpiece.
That means there are gifts in you, wisdom in you, experiences in you, and purpose in you that the world still needs.
Do not let a small negative but talk you out of sharing what God placed inside you.
Final Words of Encouragement
In this case, big buts are a good thing. (No pun intended.)
So often, women shrink their dreams with fear-filled endings: “I wanted to…” “I could have…” “I wish I had…”
But that does not have to be your story.
Starting today, make your but bigger than your fear, your disappointment, your delay, or the opinions of others.
Because when your thinking expands, your possibilities often do too.
So, I’ll ask you the same question one more time: How big is your but?
