I have a pretty simple philosophy. I believe every woman can live a RICH life. And you don’t have to spend money to do it. A RICH life is a life that’s real, inspiring, lived by choice, and makes you happy.
Let’s break down what Real, Inspiring, Choice, and Happy mean in this context.
Real
Real is simply another way of saying authentic. Being real means being unapologetically yourself and being comfortable with who God made you to be. It means liking who you actually are and not pretending to be the person you want other people to see.
It comes down to knowing who you are, who God made you to be, and being brave enough to live it.
I know from experience, this can be a struggle. It was for me.
For years I struggled with perfectionism. It started when I was a little girl. People liked me when I was perfect. They said nice things about me. Sometimes, they even gave me toys.
Unfortunately, this carried over into my adult life. And, it was a lot harder to be perfect as a professional woman.
The problem is, I’m not perfect, and pretending that I was, made me a stressed-out, unhappy woman who was afraid to get close to people because they might find out, that I was only pretending.
Maybe you can relate.
It feels like you can’t really be authentic because if you do you risk having people judge you or worse, they might even reject you. So, it seems easier to hide who you really are rather than try to live more authentically.
And, hiding does work for a while and it might even seem easy, but it creates three big problems.
- First, hiding creates a life that has nothing to do with your core values. Your core values are those things that are your fundamental beliefs – like a belief in God, freedom, integrity, and commitment. The truth is, it’s only when we live a life based on our core values do we have the courage to be authentic. When your life is not based on those fundamental beliefs, not only does it create turmoil within you, but it hurts the heart of God. Because you’re telling Him that the way He made you, the person He created you to be, is not good enough. And you are good enough – good enough that God calls you the apple of His eye.
- The second problem with hiding is that it causes you to begin a never-ending search for the bigger reason why you’re here. Let’s agree that you were born for a purpose. Knowing what that purpose is, makes a tremendous difference in how you show up in the world, in your relationships, and even in the work that you do. It’s possible to hide your true self so much that you forget who you really are. And that person you’re pretending to be takes over. Just think about what the world misses out on when you don’t share the real you. The gifts God placed in you are meant to be shared with the world. When you do, it delights His heart.
- The third thing about hiding is that it’s emotionally and physically exhausting. Let’s face it, pretending to be someone you’re not is tiring. It’s like you’re always playing a part on stage before an audience filled with your biggest critics. That’s so different from when you’re on stage as your true self and not playing a role. If you’ve been hiding from being authentically you, I want you to know that you don’t have to live your life this way. The moment you make the decision to change you can. But if you want to change, it requires a shift. You’ll need to shift from your public persona – the person that people see – to your true character – your authentic self. A public persona is an external personality you’ve created. It’s a survival technique. It’s what we want to be known as instead of who we really are, in an effort to avoid criticism or rejection. On the other hand, your true character is the essence of who you are. You can’t hide when you live life as the woman you really are. So, acknowledge the existence of your public persona and recognize the truth it’s trying to hide. With that acknowledgment, you’ll feel liberated. And, you’ll understand how important it is for you to be authentically and genuinely you.
Jesus said the truth will set you free. And the truth is, if you want to live a RICH life, you’ve got to be willing to be real. You don’t have to hide. It’s absolutely okay to be authentically you.
Let’s move on to Inspiring – what that looks like and why it matters.
Inspiring
I think we can agree that being inspired is a good thing. Most people want to be encouraged and motivated. I sure do.
However, I’m convinced that living a meaningful, purpose-filled, and passionate life has more to do with inspiring others.
I believe God placed in each of us a desire to matter. Just look at all the self-help books on the market that deal with finding your purpose or living a meaningful life.
We want to have a purpose, to be an influence, and to impact. And, we want to inspire others in ways that can change their lives.
Zig Ziglar has a quote that I just love and applies to what I’m saying right now. He said: “True joy comes when you inspire, encourage, and guide someone else on a path that benefits him or her.”
When you can help someone else see the greatness in themselves, it’s much easier to live in a place of inspiration. I believe that’s what being inspiring is all about. And, when you seek to inspire, an amazing thing happens – you experience a double blessing.
The first part of a double blessing happens when you put your purpose into action. There’s nothing like doing what God has called you to do. When you know your purpose and accept your calling and assignment, you will live your destiny.
Now, that’s a blessing!
To activate this part of your double blessing, commit to living your purpose. If you’re not clear on what your purpose is, start your discovery by answering these questions:
- What brings you joy?
- What energizes you?
- What gives you a sense of fulfillment?
- What would you do if money and time were no object?
- What would you do for free?
Purpose naturally flows into the second blessing in the double blessing. The second blessing happens when you become an inspiration to someone else.
We really are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers. The gifts God gave us are for us to glorify Him and serve others.
Booker T. Washington said, “If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” In other words, if you want to rise higher, help someone else go higher first. When you do that, your life changes.
So, what can you do to inspire someone else to action?
What is that thing that will bring you joy and delight the heart of God?
How can you be the biggest blessing to the people God placed you here on earth to serve?
Real transformation comes when you discover that your true gift isn’t about gaining something for yourself. When you give, empower and inspire others, that’s the greatest gift you can give anyone. Not only are you blessed, but so are the people you use your purpose to serve. And, you experience the double blessing while helping them see the gifts inside of them so that they will realize their purpose, too.
When we walk in our purpose, we have the ability to change our worlds.
That brings us to choice.
Choice
If a poll was taken of most people, it would reveal that:
1. The life they lead is a result of happenstance – and not planning.
2. Where they are in life is a result of what other people wanted for them and less of what they want for themselves
3. And, most tragically of all, there is a sense of discontent and a feeling of something lacking in their lives.
Most people feel that they were designed for something greater than what they are accomplishing. And when they look at their life, they feel discontent, insignificant, and purposeless. If any of this resonates with you, I’d like for you to open your mind to the possibilities of redefining, redesigning, and ultimately re-loving your life.
No matter how great or not-so-great your life looks right now, I want you to understand that you have permission to want something else. Because the bottom line is: life doesn’t have to just happen to you; you have choices. And It’s not enough to focus on your day-to-day activities and your to-do list. I believe the lives we lead sometimes are more often a result of a lack of planning than over-planning, or even having the wrong plan. The most successful people in the world are people who create and fulfill their own vision for their lives. They intentionally make their own choices. They’re the ones who’ve defined the meaning of their lives and are living purpose-aligned lives. They’ve exercised their power of choice to create a more fulfilling life – a life by design rather than a life by default.
Once you decide to exercise your power of choice, you begin to live the life God imagined for you. And you also begin to create a RICH life.
Living a RICH life is about choosing how you want to live versus living by happenstance. It’s realizing and accepting the fact that no matter where you are in life or what’s going on in your life, you have the power to choose something else if where you are right now isn’t allowing you to be your authentic self. The first choice you should consider is creating a clear vision for the life you want to live. Not the life you should live, or the life others want you to live; but, the life you want with all your heart, mind and soul.
You can begin by asking yourself three questions:
Question #1 – What choices have I made that’s created the life I’m living now?
Question #2 – What choices can I make now to create more of what I want in my life?
Question #3 – And, more importantly: who is the woman God is calling me to be?
Here’s an exercise that will help you get started.
Pretend that it’s 10 years from now. You’re being honored for a great achievement – you get to name the achievement. You’re sitting with a reporter who wants to write an article about you for her newspaper. The article will include what the honor is, other accomplishments in your life, who helped you along the journey, and some of the most important lessons you learned along the way. Additionally, the reporter wants a quote from you about how you would like to be remembered.
Set aside some time to think about your article and start writing it.
Don’t censor yourself.
Just write from your heart.
This might not be a quick exercise for you. That’s okay. The important thing is that when you know what you want your life to look like in 10 years, you can make choices today that will get you there.
And, finally what it means to be Happy.
Happy
Not too long ago, I ran into an old acquaintance and after some small talk she asked me, “Are you really happy?” You see, about 10 years ago, I moved from the large urban city I called home for almost 30 years, to my small rural hometown. Now I even live in the house I grew up in, with my Mom.
So, I get this question a lot.
On this particular day, I just smiled and replied, “Yes, I am happy.” And, I meant it. I’ve learned that happiness isn’t necessarily found in a place or in the familiar. My life looks different today than it did ten years ago, but it brings me more happiness than I could have ever imagined.
Sometimes saying you want to be happy gets a bad rap. After all, doesn’t God want us to have joy instead? It’s almost like you have to choose between happiness and holiness.
I believe, however, that happiness isn’t a sin.
God gave us this desire. Scripture doesn’t make a distinction between holiness and happiness.
Remember the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5? When Jesus delivered this sermon, He began with “Happy are those who. . .” Some Bible translations use the word blessed, but others translate the Greek word makarios as maker, which means happiness.
So, if you say that you want to be happy, you’re seeking after God’s heart.
Now that we’re clear that wanting to be happy isn’t a bad thing, let’s try something. I want you to think of one area of your life that’s not really a happy place for you right now. Imagine a continuum from 0 – 100. With 0 being on one end and 100 being on the opposite end.
Where are you currently on the continuum for the life area you chose?
Are you at the 50% mark – or higher – or lower?
Think for a minute about that blank space – the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. If you were to make a list of all the things you need to do to fill in the gap – to get to the 100% mark – the list would become the action you need to take to help you move toward a happy and joy-filled life.
I don’t want you to get caught up in whether or not you can – or even want to fill in the gap. But, I do want you to see that there are tangible steps you can take right now to create the happiness, fulfillment, and freedom you want.
This is your life. You hold the pen and you get to write your story. I hope that you will write about lots of happy times, happy places, and happy people. You don’t have to be stuck in any chapter that makes you unhappy. You can turn the page at any time and begin again.
So, there you have it – my definition of a RICH life: a life that’s real, inspiring, lived by choice, and makes you happy.
