Breaking Free From The Black Hole Of Comparison


Breaking Free From The Black Hole Of Comparison

I recently had a call with one of my clients, Charisse. She is usually one of the most upbeat women I know. However, as we got on our call, she looked and sounded a little down. So, before tackling our agenda for the call, I asked her what was going on.

Charisse was not really forthcoming at first, but as I asked a few probing questions, she opened up. She shared that as a successful marketing manager and a self-proclaimed Jesus girl, she usually feels very fulfilled in her work and faith. But since our last call, she had been feeling a little inadequate.

When I asked what brought that on, Charisse was a little hesitant to share, but she finally told me that she had started following a colleague on social media and she just realized how her colleague is so far ahead of her. In fact, she looked like she had it all: a thriving business, beautiful family, and an unshakable faith. Charisse admitted that she couldn’t help comparing herself to her colleague. Despite all of Charisse’s success, she felt like she was falling short.

Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, feeling a knot tighten in your stomach as you see another post about someone’s seemingly perfect life? That’s when the comparisons begin – her career, her family, her faith, her achievements.

It’s easy to get sucked into this black hole, feeling inadequate and unworthy. But as Christian women, we have a divine calling to break free from the chains of comparison and embrace the unique path God has for each of us.

The Danger of Comparison

Comparison is a thief of joy and a thief of peace. It shifts our focus from our own journey and places it on someone else’s, creating a sense of lack where there should be gratitude and contentment. The Bible warns us about this in Galatians 6:4-5: “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”

When we compare ourselves to others, we undermine the unique gifts and purpose, calling, and assignment that God has for us. We begin to doubt our abilities and question our worth, forgetting that we are wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14) God has a specific plan for each of us, and it’s not meant to mirror anyone else’s journey.

Biblical Perspective on Comparison

Remember the story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 29-30.

Rachel and Leah were sisters who both became wives of Jacob. Leah, who was less favored by Jacob, had many children, while Rachel struggled with infertility. This situation led to a strong rivalry and comparison between the two sisters. Rachel envied Leah’s ability to bear children, and Leah envied Rachel’s love from Jacob.

This story is an illustration of how comparison can lead to envy, dissatisfaction, and strife. Despite their blessings, both Rachel and Leah felt inadequate because they compared themselves to each other. However, the story also shows how God remained present in their lives, blessing them both in different ways. Leah was given many sons, and Rachel was eventually blessed with Joseph and Benjamin.

The lesson here is that God has a unique plan and timing for each of us. Instead of comparing our journey to others, we should trust in God’s perfect timing and provision. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” By focusing on our relationship with God and His plans for us, we can find contentment and peace.

Practical Steps to Overcome Comparison

Here are a few things you can do right now to cultivate a comparison-free life.

  1. Cultivate Gratitude: Begin each day by listing things you are grateful for. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” When you focus on your blessings, the temptation to compare decreases.
  2. Celebrate Others: Instead of feeling envious, celebrate the successes and blessings of others. Romans 12:15 encourages us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” This mindset transforms comparison into compassion and builds a supportive community.
  3. Recognize Your Worth in Christ: Remind yourself daily that your worth is found in Christ, not in comparison to others. One of my favorite scriptures is Ephesians 2:10. It says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” You are uniquely designed with a purpose, calling, and assignment only you can fulfill.
  4. Set Personal Goals: Focus on your personal growth and achievements. Set goals that align with your values and God’s plan for your life. Philippians 3:14 encourages us to “Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

If setting goals or reaching the goals you set is a problem for you, join me for a complimentary virtual event – Vision Casting and Goal Setting Bootcamp for Christian Women: Unlock Your Path to Divine Clarity and Purposeful Action. Join the wait list here

  1. Limit Social Media Exposure: Social media can be the perfect place for comparison to grow. Be mindful of how much time you spend online and consider taking breaks. Turn off the notifications on your cell phone. Instead, use that time to engage in activities that nurture your soul and bring you closer to God.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and progress. Remember, God’s love for you is unconditional. Psalm 103:13-14 reminds us, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”

Transforming Comparison into Confidence

By shifting our focus from comparison to gratitude, celebration, and personal growth, we can transform the black hole of comparison into a journey of confidence and purpose. So, embrace your unique journey and trust that God’s plan for you is perfect, just as you are. Psalm 139:13-14 is a reminder that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

When we anchor our identity in the truth of God’s Word, we find the strength to overcome the trap of comparison. Stand on this truth, reminding yourself every day that you are a masterpiece, created with intentional love and purpose.


After sharing these strategies with Charisse, she said she felt a flicker of hope. She understood that she needed to focus on God’s plan for her and stop comparing herself to her colleague (and others). So, over the next few weeks, she made a conscious effort to shift her focus. And you know what? It worked – things began changing for her.

As a woman of faith, you do not have to continue down the black hole of comparison. When you let go of comparison and embrace your unique God-given path, you will find peace and joy.

By cultivating gratitude, celebrating others, and focusing on your personal growth, you can transform the black hole of comparison into a focus of confidence and purpose. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God’s plan for your life is perfect just as you are. Embrace your journey with faith and trust, knowing that God has equipped you with everything you need to fulfill your divine purpose.

Together, we can lift each other up, support one another, and walk confidently in the path God has for us. You are enough, just as you are, and your journey is beautifully unique.


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