You’ve been there. We all have.
You promised yourself that this week you would finally start working on that dream God placed on your heart. You even wrote it down and prayed over it. But then life happened. Again. Someone at work needed extra help. Your family asked for just “one more thing.” Church responsibilities piled on. And before you knew it, you had once again broken the promise you made to you.
You honored everyone else’s expectations, but left your own hanging in the balance.
Sound familiar?
This quiet but dangerous pattern is called self-sabotage – and one of the most common ways it shows up is through broken promises you make to yourself.
And friend, it’s time to call it what it is.
The Silent Damage of Self-Sabotage
When we repeatedly break the promises we make to ourselves, we start to believe we can’t be trusted with our own vision. We chip away at our confidence, hope, and momentum.
And deep down, it hurts.
We feel the ache of unfulfilled purpose and untapped potential. We see glimpses of what could be – but self-sabotage convinces us we’ll never get there. And sadly, many Christian women think this is “humble” or “sacrificial.”
But friend, sabotaging yourself is not humility – it’s disobedience.
God Cares About the Promises You Make to You
In Matthew 5:37, Jesus said, “Let your yes be yes, and your no, no.” That includes the yes you whispered to yourself in the quiet of the night when you told yourself, “I’m going to do it this time.”
God is a Promise Keeper. And you were made in His image. So, when you keep your word – even to yourself – you reflect His character.
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 warns us:
“When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”
Now I know that passage is talking about vows to God – but I believe when we dedicate our plans to Him, our internal commitments become sacred ground. You’re not just letting yourself down, you’re stepping away from the very thing God called you to steward.
Why You Keep Showing Up for Others (But Not Yourself)
As Christian women, we’re wired to serve. We’ve been taught to show up, hold it together, and make it happen for everyone else. And yes, service is a beautiful, biblical calling. But when your service to others always comes at the expense of your obedience to what God has called you to do, that’s not sacrifice. That’s imbalance.
And imbalance will sabotage you every time.
Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). He didn’t say more than yourself, and He certainly didn’t mean instead of yourself.
What Self-Faithfulness Looks Like
Here’s what no one tells us: keeping promises to yourself is a form of spiritual discipline. It builds trust, integrity, and alignment with your God-given purpose, calling, and assignment.
Here’s how to start:
1. Start Small, But Stay Steady
Don’t try to overhaul your whole life overnight. Pick one promise to honor this week. One task, one hour, one goal. Let your yes be yes.
2. Put Yourself on Your Calendar
If you don’t schedule your purpose, something else will always fill the space. Block time like it’s a divine appointment – because it is.
3. Pray, Then Act
James 2:17 reminds us that faith without works is dead. Pray over your promise, but also work it. Move in the direction of your calling with faith and intentionality.
4. Give Yourself Grace, Not Excuses
Grace empowers. Excuses delay. If you stumble, don’t spiral. Forgive yourself and start again. God’s mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23) – and so is your opportunity to show up.
You Matter Too
The dreams in your heart are not selfish. They are not silly. And they are not secondary. They are part of your assignment.
So, this time, don’t just show up for them. Show up for you.
You’re worth keeping your word to. You’re worth honoring your own yes. You’re worth the time, the effort, and the commitment.
Because when you stop self-sabotaging and start self-honoring, something powerful happens: you start to walk in divine alignment.
And that’s where the breakthrough lives.
Let today be the day you say: No more broken promises. Not to me. Not to God.
Because you are called to more. And God is still counting on your yes. So, let your yes be yes – even to you.
