Have you ever put your dreams on the back burner because you didn’t want to disappoint others?
You say “yes” when your heart is screaming “no.” You prioritize everyone else’s needs, convinced that making others happy is the right thing to do. But deep down, you feel the weight of frustration, exhaustion, and the nagging sense that you were created for more.
Many Christian women struggle with people-pleasing, mistaking it for kindness or selflessness. But when looking for approval replaces God’s calling on your life, it becomes a chain, not a virtue.
The truth of the matter is, God has placed a purpose inside of you – one that glorifies Him and blesses others. And He never intended for you to silence your dreams for the sake of avoiding conflict or disappointing people.
The Hidden Cost of People-Pleasing
People-pleasing often disguises itself as love, but in reality, it is fueled by fear: fear of rejection, disappointing others, and being misunderstood. Proverbs 29:25 warns us that, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
When we live for the approval of others, we become trapped. We say “yes” to things God never called us to do, and when we do that, we say “no” to the calling He designed us for.
Jesus never let public opinion dictate His mission. He loved people deeply, but He never allowed their expectations to pull Him away from what the Father sent Him to do. If Jesus had tried to please everyone, He would never have fulfilled His purpose. Instead, He stayed rooted in His identity and His assignment. And He calls us to do the same.
Renewing Your Mind and Breaking Free
The first step toward breaking free from people-pleasing is recognizing it for what it really is: a spiritual stronghold that keeps you from fully obeying God. Romans 12:2 tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Renewing your mind means replacing lies with truth. People-pleasers often believe that their worth is tied to how much they do for other people. But Scripture makes it clear that our worth is not found in approval – it is found in Christ.
Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Your calling was not an afterthought. God prepared it in advance. When you shift your focus from pleasing people to pleasing God, you will walk in freedom.
The Power of Boundaries
One of the hardest but most necessary steps in overcoming people-pleasing is learning to set boundaries. Many Christian women have a problem with this. They hesitate to set boundaries because they equate boundaries with selfishness. But Jesus Himself set boundaries.
He withdrew from crowds to pray (Luke 5:16). He didn’t allow others to control His time or mission (John 11:6-7). He even told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet when they encountered resistance (Matthew 10:14).
Boundaries are not about rejecting people; they are about honoring your God-given purpose, calling, and assignment. If you struggle to say no, remember Matthew 5:37, where Jesus tells us, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”
When you say “yes” to everything, you risk saying “no” to the work God actually called you to do. Setting boundaries isn’t just healthy – it’s biblical.
Trusting God with Your Purpose
Breaking free from people-pleasing is an act of faith. It means trusting that God’s approval is enough, even when others don’t understand. Psalm 37:5 encourages us, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.”
You don’t need permission from people to step into what God has already ordained for you. If God has called you to write, speak, lead, or build something new, He will equip you for it. But you must be willing to take the first step – even when it feels uncomfortable.
God does not expect you to abandon love and service. He calls us to serve others with humility (Philippians 2:3-4). But serving others is not the same as living for their approval. When you shift your focus from what people expect to what God has assigned, you will move from people-pleasing to purpose.
Stepping Forward in Boldness
People-pleasing may feel safe, but it will never lead you to the abundant life God has for you. Your calling is too important to be put on hold.
You don’t have to choose between loving others and obeying God. You can do both when God is leading the way.
It’s time to stop shrinking and start stepping forward in faith. God has already called you – now, will you answer?
