Sharon came to me because she was frustrated. She knew what her calling was – she could articulate it clearly, see it vividly, and even feel it stirring in her spirit every time she talked about it. But for some reason, she couldn’t seem to start.
During our first coaching session, I had her complete an assessment. The results were eye-opening but not unusual. Sharon struggled with three subtle but powerful obstacles: people-pleasing, perfectionism, and a performance mindset.
At first glance, these may seem like personality quirks or minor issues, but spiritually, they can become strongholds that keep you from walking in your God-given calling.
Let’s examine each one, and more importantly, talk about how to overcome them with grace, wisdom, and action.
People-Pleasing: When Approval Becomes an Idol
People-pleasing often begins with good intentions. We want to be kind, helpful, and supportive. But when the desire to please others outweighs our desire to please God, we end up living for their approval instead of His.
The Bible warns us about this: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? … If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
When Sharon and I talked, she admitted that she worried about what others would think if she started living out her calling. Would they support her? Would they think she was “too much”? Would they question whether she was really called?
The truth is, people-pleasing keeps you stuck in a cycle of hesitation. It tells you that it’s safer to stay silent than to risk being misunderstood.
How to Break Free from People-Pleasing:
- Redefine “love” through obedience.
Loving people doesn’t mean always saying yes. Jesus loved perfectly, yet He disappointed many people – the Pharisees, His hometown, and even some disciples. True love obeys God first and lets others adjust to that obedience. - Practice saying no, without guilt.
Every time you say yes to something God didn’t call you to, you say no to something He did. Start small. When you feel that familiar pull to overcommit, pause and pray: “Lord, what do You want me to say here?” Then obey the answer you receive. - Surround yourself with faith-affirming voices.
Sharon learned that she needed a new circle – people who would remind her to follow God’s leading, not her fear of rejection. Join a community or mastermind that celebrates purpose over popularity.
Perfectionism: When Excellence Turns into a Prison
Perfectionism wears a mask of excellence, but it’s driven by fear: fear of making mistakes, fear of judgment, fear of not being enough.
Sharon told me she couldn’t move forward until “everything was just right.” She wanted the logo, the website, and the business plan to be flawless before she started her ministry work. But perfectionism kept her perpetually in “preparation mode,” always planning, never launching.
The Bible reminds us that perfection belongs to God alone: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
When you wait until you “feel ready,” you’re essentially waiting until you don’t need God’s help. But your calling was designed to require His partnership.
How to Break Free from Perfectionism:
- Shift from perfection to progression.
Progress is obedience in motion. Start with the next right step, not the entire staircase. Sharon’s breakthrough came when she committed to launching imperfectly on purpose. She learned that clarity comes through doing, not just planning. - Set grace-based goals.
Instead of aiming for “flawless,” aim for “faithful.” Ask yourself: Did I show up in obedience today? Did I do what God asked of me – even if it wasn’t perfect? That’s success in God’s eyes. - Celebrate progress, not perfection.
Keep a “faith wins” journal. Write down every small step you take toward your calling – sending an email, making a phone call, completing a task. These are victories worth celebrating.
Performance Mindset: When Worth is Measured by Works
The performance mindset whispers, “If I do more, God will love me more.” It’s subtle but dangerous because it distorts your identity. You begin to equate productivity with purpose and results with righteousness.
Sharon admitted she often felt guilty when she wasn’t “doing enough.” If she took a break, she felt lazy. If she wasn’t producing, she felt unworthy. But God never asked us to earn His approval, only to abide in His love.
He says:
“Be still, and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10 (NIV)
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
A performance mindset robs you of peace because it keeps you striving instead of resting in who you already are in Christ: chosen, loved, and accepted.
How to Break Free from the Performance Mindset:
- Reclaim your identity as a daughter, not an employee.
You are not God’s worker, you are His beloved child. When you serve from that identity, your effort becomes worship, not obligation. Take time each morning to remind yourself: I am loved before I perform. - Schedule rest intentionally.
Rest is a declaration of trust. It says, “God, I believe You’re working even when I’m not.” Build intentional rest rhythms: Sabbath days, tech-free evenings, or short pauses throughout the day to breathe and realign with God. - Detach results from validation.
The fruit of your calling is God’s responsibility; obedience is yours. Sharon learned that when she released her grip on outcomes, she experienced freedom, and ironically, more fruit began to show.
The Turning Point
By her third session, Sharon’s mindset began to shift. She realized her struggle wasn’t about not knowing what to do. It was about releasing what was holding her back.
She stopped seeking approval from others and started seeking affirmation from God’s Word. She replaced her perfectionism with progress, celebrating small, consistent wins. And she began serving from a place of rest, not striving.
Within a few months, Sharon launched the first phase of her calling – imperfectly, yes, but also powerfully. Her peace deepened, her confidence grew, and she began to see God’s hand in every step.
Your Turn
You might see yourself in Sharon’s story. Maybe you know what God has called you to do, but you can’t seem to move forward. Maybe you’re stuck in the cycle of pleasing, perfecting, or performing.
The good news? You don’t have to stay there.
Freedom begins when you let God’s truth redefine how you see yourself:
- You are already approved (Ephesians 1:6).
- You are already enough (2 Corinthians 3:5).
- You are already loved (Romans 8:38-39).
So, start where you are, with what you have, and trust that God can multiply your obedience into impact.
Your calling doesn’t require perfection, just participation. Don’t let fear of what people think, striving for flawlessness, or the need to prove your worth keep you from stepping into what God has prepared for you.
Remember: God isn’t waiting for you to be ready. He’s waiting for you to be willing.
